How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
