hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
