come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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