he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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