Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wear drunk well.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize