don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize