I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
