Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
