I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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