Sry I called you an 8
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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