So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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