i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
