i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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