I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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