I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
