Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
