Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
