the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
