____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
