arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
