He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
