hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Come see our sink grown plant.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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