dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
