FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
