just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize