Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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