guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize