I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
