I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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