Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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