I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
