And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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