Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
