On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hippo gnu deer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
