Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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