I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
