After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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