can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
