I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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