Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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