remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
