I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
