my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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