Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
