We're facebook friends in real life
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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