i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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