Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The adults are the big ones right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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