2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize