Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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