I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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