I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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