is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
