I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
