so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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