Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
