It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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