I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
