when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said her name was "party"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
