I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?