I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
