My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
