Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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