I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
