Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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