So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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