She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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