She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
