Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize