Nicole vs. Life
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
