i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
