Where did you get a picture of my penis
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I yelled at your uterus for you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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