i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
