How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm at about main and main street
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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