Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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