Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
