Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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