Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
