oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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