yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize